Because of Motherhood

Super Mom, Not Less: What to Do When You’re Overlooked at Work Because

May 30, 2025

You’ve worked hard, juggled deadlines and diapers, stayed late, and sacrificed. So when the big promotion is handed to someone else, again, and whispers about your “availability” or “priorities” circle back to your role as a mom, it stings deeply. Unfortunately, many working mothers face this reality: being passed over for promotions not because of their performance, but because of assumptions about their capabilities or commitment. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone and don’t have to take it lying down. Consult a civil rights lawyer los angeles to fight for what you deserve. Let’s unpack why this happens, what it means for your rights, and how to push back with confidence and clarity.

1. Recognize the Signs of “Maternal Bias”

The term “maternal bias” refers to the unfair treatment of women in the workplace based on the assumption that motherhood makes them less competent or committed to their jobs. This can show up subtly: being excluded from high-visibility projects, having fewer opportunities to lead, or being told that a role “might not be the right fit right now.” You might hear phrases like, “We didn’t think you’d want the extra workload,” or “You’ve got a lot on your plate already.” While they may sound considerate on the surface, these assumptions strip away your agency and limit your career progression.

2. Document Everything

When you suspect you’re being treated unfairly, start keeping detailed records. Log instances where you were passed over for opportunities, the reasons you were given, and any comments made about your family responsibilities. Track performance reviews, emails, and conversations that show your qualifications and contributions. These records can be vital if you file a complaint or seek legal counsel later. The more specific and objective your documentation, the stronger your case.

3. Have a Conversation—But Be Strategic

Before escalating things, consider having a direct but professional conversation with your manager or HR representative. Frame your concerns around your performance and qualifications. For example: “I noticed I wasn’t considered for the team lead role, and I’d like to understand the decision-making process better so I can continue to grow here.” This opens a dialogue without immediately putting your employer on the defensive. Listen carefully to the response—are the reasons performance-based, or are they laced with coded language about your family life?

4. Build Your Allies

Chances are, you’re not the only one who’s experienced this kind of bias. Quietly connect with other working parents or colleagues who’ve noticed patterns of discrimination or stereotyping. Support within the company—whether through formal employee resource groups or informal networking—can help validate your experience and give you a sense of strength and solidarity. Allies can also serve as witnesses or provide insight into how others are being treated.

5. Understand Your Rights

Under U.S. law, it’s illegal to discriminate against employees based on gender, and that includes pregnancy and parental status under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. If your employer treats you differently because you’re a mother or assumes you’re less committed to your job, that could qualify as gender discrimination. Many states also have additional protections in place for working parents. Knowing what laws apply to you and how they protect your right to fair treatment is important.

6. File a Formal Complaint if Necessary

If internal conversations don’t resolve the issue and the bias continues, you can file a formal complaint with your company’s HR department. Be clear, specific, and professional in your language. If the internal complaint process doesn’t lead to results, you may also consider filing a charge of discrimination with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or your state’s labor board. These steps can be intimidating, but are crucial tools for accountability and change.

Conclusion

Being a mother doesn’t make you less valuable at work—the skills you hone through parenting often enhance your leadership, time management, and empathy. But it’s more than disappointing when your employer fails to see that and instead lets bias guide their decisions—it may be unlawful. If you believe you’ve been passed over for a promotion because of your status as a mom, don’t just internalize the injustice. Advocate for yourself, document your experience, and know your rights. And if the situation doesn’t improve, consider seeking legal advice from a civil rights lawyer los angeles who can help you understand your options and take action. Because no one should have to choose between career and motherhood, and you deserve both.

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